"Atque in perpetuum, frater, ave atque vale" - TTG

Oakwood Cemetery, Troy, New York                                         March 22, 2014

My wife’s father passed away after a long battle with dementia. His life was no picnic. Nor was it a tragedy. He worked hard his entire life only to be let go just before he was able to retire. It was a classic case of age discrimination. He kept working at other jobs until he was seventy. Both his wife and his only son died years ago. Like us all, he was a sinner and a child of God. His daughter cared for him from our home in Virginia. It was practically a full time job. 

He enlisted in the Army at the tail end of WW II, serving in the Army of Occupation in Japan and in Korea prior to that little dust up. Returning home, he began a career in the New York Army National Guard. He served in a tank battalion in Troy and ended his career in a Special Forces unit in Schenectady as a sergeant first class. He was always proud of his service.  

He had a simple funeral mass at Saint Mary’s Catholic Church in Halfmoon, New York. Before leaving the church, the religious vestment was removed from his casket and replaced by an American flag. We arranged for military honors to be rendered at his burial because we thought he would appreciate it. We expected this to be two American Legion members who would render the honors to the best of their abilities with a recording of taps. We placed his flag draped casket in the hearse and followed it across the still frozen Mohawk River and the already thawed Hudson. We made our way through the weathered streets of North Troy and to the ancient Oakwood Cemetery. The morning snow flurries had stopped with no accumulation. It was still overcast and the wind was bitterly cold. We were grateful the dreaded wintery mix did not materialize.

We turned off the paved road through the park like cemetery onto an icy, muddy gravel path to the family plot. As the hearse approached the burial site, we were shocked to see a full Army burial detail in their service blue uniforms and service caps. I heard some of my wife’s relatives wonder who were these soldiers. Were they cadets from the nearby La Salle Institute? My reply was, “No, these are regulars.” Two young sergeants and and an even younger PFC bugler stood at attention at the crest of a slight knoll to our right. The casket team removed the casket from the hearse and made their way to the grave site. The deacon from Saint Mary’s Church led the small gathering of relatives, neighbors and my wife’s friends in a short interment service and final prayer. 

The icy wind calmed into a cold breeze and the sun made a valiant effort to brighten the scene. From the crest of the knoll, three volleys of rifle fire rang out. The lone bugler played Taps. She performed admirably in spite of the cold air. The detail began folding the flag precisely and slowly. The reverence and devotion to duty were plainly visible in the young soldiers’ actions and faces. The slow, solemn salutes as the folded flag was passed to the young NCOIC of the honor detail caused me to think of all those who had fought and served under that flag. My wife took a few steps forward herself to spare the NCOIC those steps over the muddy, icy slope in his dress shoes. That’s the way she is… always thinking of others. The young sergeant approached my wife, bowed forward and began those familiar words.      

“On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States Army and a grateful nation…”  

All the emotions I was feeling welled up as I heard those words. A tear came to my eye. Bless those young soldiers giving their all on this Saturday afternoon. Bless my father-in-law. Bless all those who have served and died, as well as those still serving and living. What a brotherhood! 

General George Henry Thomas, the Rock of Chickamauga, is buried close by in the family plot of his Lansingburgh, New York born wife. General Thomas was born and raised a Virginian, but found it necessary, by personal conscience and honor, to remain in the Union Army. Sergeant Rice Cook Bull, a soldier of the 123rd New York Infantry, who served under General Thomas and wrote of his experiences in the book, Soldiering, also lies nearby. These two old soldiers would recognize the oh so very young soldiers of the burial detail dressed in blue as brothers. They certainly recognized the three volleys of rifle fire and the melancholy playing of Taps.  

“And forever, brother, hail and farewell.” The words in the title of this post belong to Catullus, written in tribute to his brother, who was buried far from home near the ancient city of Troy. Catullus talks of the sad tribute of the burial rights in the ancient custom of ancestors.

Thank God for those ancient customs of our ancestors.

TTG

----------------------

"The Twisted Genius" (TTG) is the pen name of another retired officer who writes on SST as a guest author.  pl

Comments

[Alba Etie]

TTG
Condolences to your family on the loss of your father in law .

[Kyle Pearson]

Sympathies on your loss, TTG.

Thank you for these moving observations, in your time of grief.

[william R. Cumming]

AMEN!

[Robert Kenneth Chatel]

Col. Lang,
I send my heartfelt condolences to you and your wife's family. One sister-in-law died three years ago after a five-year battle with dementia; she was only 66. All of us grew up about 40 miles north of there.

[jon]

I'm sorry for your family's loss. It's good that your father in law could be interred with the honor due, and no less than his service deserved. I hope it provides some comfort to all affected.

[Bill H]

Hell, now I know that even descriptions of military funerals make me weep. Well written ones do, at least. My wife always looks sideways at me when scenes of the flag draped coffin surrounded by uniforms appear on the news or in the movies, and she always finds tears on my face.

Bless those young soldiers for giving you and your family comfort on a cold winter day of the heart.

[patrick lang]

TTG

My condolence to you and yours. pat

[turcopolier]

TTG

Did the school troops at West Point provide the detail? There is a battalion of the 1st Infantry Regiment there as well as the USMA Band. pl

[Charles I]

TTG labas, condolences to you and family. Thanks for sharing.

Extended care-giving of dependents in long term crisis is no easy road. Such tradition can help pave the way forward from such a hard to fathom ordeal, reminding us Grace may found amidst and after such desolation.

I wish I had some more.

All, it been my experience as a lengthy caregiver to a very stubborn dyer of a mother, and several others, that even in those with dementia, one's mind likely turn's to one's youth, and remorse over not working harder or longer is rarely an issue. Just a thought for those of you still in harness from an unemcumbered long retired idler.

[FB Ali]

TTG, my condolences!

And, thank you for that moving description of the funeral. The brotherhood of arms has its own bonds, whatever the colour of the uniform one wears.

[kao_hsien_chih]

TTG,

Condolences to you and your family.

[Matthew]

Col: A beatiful story. God Bless the US Army and the USA.

[nick b]

TTG,

Please accept my condolences to you and your family for your loss. Thank you for such an uplifting story in a time of grief. I could not help but be struck by the embodiment of the promise of Matthew 5:4 in the Soldiers who came to honor your Father-in-law that day. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

[Ramojus]

TTG and to your wife:

Užuojautos....

[The Twisted Genius]

PL,

I'm not sure who provided the burial detail. We're asking the funeral director to find out who they were. I want to write a letter to their commander. I didn't think of West Point. That's a definite possibility. The young bugler looked like she could have been from an Army band. I thought they might have been from the Saratoga National Cemetery, but I don't think there are any active duty soldiers assigned there. The casket team had honor guard tabs sewn on the left sleeves of their uniforms. Two of the sergeants had combat service ID badges, one for the 101st ID and one for the 2nd ID. There was one blue infantry cord and one German army marksmanship cord. They were so young. It's hard to believe we were ever so young.

[The Twisted Genius]

All,

Thank you so much for your condolences. My purpose in writing this post was just to share a vignette that I thought was worth sharing, but your expressions of heartfelt sympathies are very much appreciated.

[Mark Kolmar]

Sad about your loss. Thank you for sharing this vignette, as you say. This is not the time to go on with any other thoughts about any similar event children (at any age) go through, that I hope is a long way off. I'd only say this made me think about it.

[David Habakkuk]

TTG,

Condolences.

To a congenital civilian like myself, it is reassuring to hear that people serving in the U.S. Army today took the commemoration of a veteran so seriously.

You write: ‘Thank God for those ancient customs of our ancestors.’ Indeed, it is commonly such ‘ancient’ – and sometimes apparently quite ‘irrational’ – customs which keep us at least relatively civilised.

[Bobo]

TTG

My deepest condolences on this passing. He joins his brethren in the graveyards full of indispensable men.
Dementia is more of a curse on the living than the dying. Thus a tip of the hat to your wife.

Bobo

[Fred]

TTG, my condolences. My father fought that same battle. Your wife is a saint for the care she provided. That is one battle I hope never to have to fight. My younger sister took care of our father during his last years. We had a similar service, (my dad was an AF CMSgt). A very moving write up. Thank you for sharing.

[walrus]

Please accept my condolences TTG. My Fathers Army number is engraved on his headstone. He was always so proud that he, a jewish refugee from Hitler, was accepted into the Australian Army.

[turcopolier]

TTG

Unles they were from the USARNG, WP would be the most likely. pl

[Medicine Man]

Condolences and thank you for sharing, TTG.

[Thomas]

TTG,

My condolences to you and your wife.

Thomas

[Ishmael Zechariah]

TTG,

My condolences. Beautiful, touching write-up.

Ishmael Zechariah